Long time ago, every time i stand in front of a mirror, it doesn't just reflect what normal mirrors do, projecting image. The mirror tells everything in particular even the things that don’t really matter. And what was even worse is that the visible imaginary shape of mine has its own mind doing at its best condemning and twisting the idea of pretty much everything so the real mind becoming the puppet. That illusion mind is not much of a devil or angel since it constantly communicating with my conscience resulting in every decision i’ve made in the past until now. Good or bad, i take it as a friend.
Not too distant past, i looked myself again at the same mirror and saw the representation of my external form was lying to me the whole time. I was slapped in the face by the hand of sorrow knowing that the one so called friend betrayed me. The never known sinister blood is pumped into my brain and burns my consciousness like a living hell. So i punched the mirror just to shut it out. But i know i can never forget everything that has been said to me.
The mirror cracked down and shattered into a million pieces. As it falls, light is being reflected in a million directions. It was beautiful for certain. Flash memories of good times and bad ones. But suddenly my eyes were held by this one piece of that shattered mirror, prompting a dark blue light. The time stopped. I gazed into that piece of shattered mirror and the mirror grabbed my vision into a world inside it. It was total darkness. Chill wind of sadness. Then I saw a version of me giving up on myself. It was the truest feeling that always been pushed away by me because of not knowing the fact that i have to face it some time in the future.
Again “Why me?” question hits me hard. I knew i have to take this road of millions of possibilities and i certainly knew how the end is going to be. But will i ever reach there? Now i have a second thought. Doubt. The power of doubt is awfully terrifying. Once it flooded the mind, the wave pushes the empire to the edge of the fall in every level. This is a perfect time to summon a dearest friend whom knowing us better than ourselves to build us up. I knew one. I guess. I know the helping hand will try to make rain of embraces but sometimes the emotions cannot be calmed. Nobody can. Accept is the only choice left. Then that one piece of shattered mirror lost its light and disappeared. All pieces spreading in all direction. Dump.
Accepting everything that is programmed in life is just a phase. The doubt will restlessly fight to win the mind so i will be down again. It is just another phase. No matter how hard i try to change the future, i can never break the cycle. I am a freak. Enough said.
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