05 March 2013

Death Is Upon Us

It strikes me again.

This paragraph is dedicated to my dear friend, Arif, who lost a father tadi. But before that, lets say a prayer. Reader, please sedekahkan Al-Fatehah to late Abdul Rani. May Allah bless your soul. To know that beliau pergi disisi keluarga is a bit breathtaking, for me i guess sebab i dont remember when was the last time aku tengok muka abang aku. To Arif, im sorry if you feel offended by this post, i mean no harm to you. Aku cuma nak tulis what i felt after reading your message. I assume you have a strong heart so i hope kau sentiasa ada dekat sisi mak kau sebab aku rasa mak kau perlukan sokongan yang kuat from her family. Stay strong brother.

Tatkala sedang menyediakan surat tatatertib, tiba-tiba mendapat khabar sedih. I felt so sorry for him but at the same time, it strikes me again. How i wish my time is up. How the pain that take the best of me will finally be over. How the upcoming suffer will never be seen. Ini semua harapan aku suatu ketika dahulu dan kadang-kadang akan datang juga pada hari-hari mendatang.

Kalau aku pergi dahulu dalam masa terdekat ini, tidak sempat aku balas jasa mereka. And i see no point of raising me up but end up aku pergi dulu. I just hope tuhan membenarkan aku hidup lebih lama supaya aku dapat membalas jasa mereka.

Kalau parents aku pula meninggalkan aku which will happen at any time in the future, i cannot imagine how devastated i am. Aku tak nak bayangkan keadaan itu. Aku harapkan agar aku mati dulu so i wont deal with this thing.

Im not a religious-type of person so sebab itu my soul is very fragile. A small amount of pain pun dah rasa nak mati. How am i going to face death? Aku harap aku berubah towards positivity real soon.

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