You should know by now that im a baker. But what do bakers do? They bake. Last 2 weeks, seperjalanan aku dan dia ke rumah masing-masing, dia membuat tempahan kek untuk meraikan hari jadi anaknya pada hari ini. Maka dengan arms wide open, aku menerima lamaran tersebut. 2 days later, dia datang kepadaku untuk menyampaikan musibah. Dia terpaksa batalkan hasrat to give her daughter a birthday party because she asks for a console game. Due to tight budget, dia terpaksa lepaskan aku.
But, i havent switch off the oven yet. I have to bake for this poor child. If i can bring cake to office, why not i bake for this special occasion for free? So i promise myself to give her a surprise birthday cake. Never in my mind i was going to tell her mother about the surprise birthday cake because i dont know what will happen today until yesterday.
Yesterday, tsunami happened. My worst ferocious enemy strikes again. Escherichia coli. My seventh sense sense the arriving of this massive pain that i have to take, predicted to strike today. All i feel today is gloom. It hurts both physically and emotionally. My psychological barrier is as fragile as iphone screen. It doesnt help at all.
So when gloom took over my concious mind, it destroys all my goals. All of them. I dont want to go to terengganu atau apa-apa panggilan yang aku dapat nanti walaupun result tak keluar lagi. I dont want to think about my forbidden half. I just want to stay here waiting for the world to end.
So im in the state of destruction now. Trying to gather my sanity back with the mercy of time. All i need now is rest. But a high quality of rest is rich.
Because of this, aku terpaksa kuburkan niat untuk menghadiahkan kek. I shouldnt blame myself for this inevitable nightmare. Nasib baik aku tak cakap nak bagi dia in the first place.
Harap diberi kekuatan untuk ke Pahang. Kursus lagi.
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